Skip to main content

1 Chapter One: "Guard your character"

We have a video on Theodore Roosevelt which relates the advice his father gave him as he left for college. He didn’t say, “Work hard.” He didn’t say, “Stay out of trouble.” He didn’t say, “Find your passion.” He didn’t say, “Consider this major or that,” or, “Participate in this activity or that.” He simply said, “Guard your character.”

In some sense, that is what much of this book is about: valuing your character and living a life that exhibits the qualities you treasure most.

You must perpetually and intentionally choose that if your life is to reflect it. Challenges will come at you from all directions—including your own tendencies and desires—which will tempt you to compromise. That is not to say that flexibility is not important in relationships and life. But you must consciously consider whether that flexibility is simply letting go of the need to “have it your way,” or whether it is compromising core values key to your character and identity. This can be most challenging when the conflict comes from within yourself: each of us has natural vulnerabilities—be they derived from genetics or environment—that test our capacity to do what we know is right. Managing those challenges builds our character. You may have heard a quote from the late Stephen Covey that captures the cost of such decisions:

Sow a thought, reap an action

Sow an action, reap a habit

Sow a habit, reap a character,

Sow a character, reap a destiny

Recent research increasingly tells us that character traits such as self-control, fairness, integrity, perseverance, zest, optimism, and gratitude may be as important as intellect in predicting success in school, career and life. Some schools have already begun including results of this research into their programming. With luck, these trends will continue. Whether or not they do, Theodore Roosevelt, Sr. gave his son very good advice. 

Comments

Popular Posts

Preface

Before Tom Cruise, Matt Damon, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and even Clint Eastwood, there was John Wayne. The iconic action hero of my youth, “The Duke”, as he was sometimes called, was famous for fighting, shooting, and tough-talking his way through every movie to protect the abused and vanquish the bad guys, wherever they were. To me, his characters seemed a source of stability on which I could build my sense of right and wrong. I loved going to movies to see the most recent John Wayne film, and believed that anything John Wayne did was, by definition, good. He was a role model to me. And then an unsettling thing happened. There, in one of my favorite movies, The Duke was driving while clearly intoxicated. This was before MADD and SADD and national sensitivity to the dangers of drunk driving, but my awareness of the issue had been raised when someone very dear to me had almost been killed by a drunk driver. When that accident happened, I remember wondering why someone would risk lives—t...

29 CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE: Don’t be tricked into singing along with lyrics just because the melody is good

It’s hard to understand the emotional effect of music—how soothing, relaxing, uplifting, terrifying, or electrifying a good tune can be. It is scary, however, how easy it is to sing along with virtually any lyrics if the tune is stuck in your head. I always try to understand song lyrics, get their message, and think about why the author wrote them—and often I conclude that the message and motive are inconsistent with my beliefs and perhaps dangerous. And yet, I regularly catch myself humming or playing the tune of such a song in my head, with the lyrics floating along either in my brain or on my lips. While music’s effect may be singular, other things can have similar effects: something or someone of great beauty, an eloquent essay or speaker, a good story or movie, and even a friend. Anything that causes you to let your guard down can have this power. You must be aware of it all of the time. Let me explain why I think it is dangerous to just “sing along” without thinking about t...

36 CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX “To will one thing”: Section 8

The Struggle of finding and holding onto Faith The struggle in finding and holding faith seems to me natural, and perhaps healthy and necessary if it is to be your own. It also seems common: there many, many autobiographies of people who struggled and then found faith, but a few that I have found helpful are: •          Surprised by Joy by C.S. Lewis and the play and movie, “The Most Reluctant Convert” about his journey to faith •          Seven Story Mountain by Thomas Merton •          Confessions by Augustine of Hippo, •          A Man Called Peter by Catherine Marshall , and •          The Language of God by Francis Collins. I Did It For You , by Lecrae gives his story in the form of a song. There are also tons of books on faith and belief, especially in relation to reaso...