There is an old story of a man who had two sons, one who seemed overly optimistic, always expecting something wonderful to happen, and one who seemed unnecessarily pessimistic, seeing every cloud, but no silver linings. Seeking to help each boy find some balance, the man put the optimist in a dark old barn filled with manure, and the pessimist in a bright, beautiful room filled with toys, believing that each environment might teach each son some new perspective. Arriving back to the barn after a couple of hours, he heard that son running around and whooping it up inside. When asked what he was so excited about, he gleefully exclaimed, “With so much manure, there must be a pony in here somewhere!!” Surprised, the father returned to the room filled with toys, only to find that son sitting in the middle of the room crying. When asked why, that son wailed, “These toys aren’t mine and somebody is going to take them away from me.” Each boy’s perspective was in himself, and not his surroundings.
Research actually indicates that individuals do indeed tend
towards optimism or pessimism, and their perspectives impact their lives in
many ways. Studies suggest, for instance, that, shown the same information,
people separately determined to be optimists tend to remember positive things
and interpret neutral things positively, while those identified as pessimists
tend to remember negative things and hold negative information in their
memories longer. Studies have also found that optimists enjoy stronger
cognitive abilities generally, and suffer less decline in cognition and memory
as they age.
So both optimism and pessimism tend to be self-reinforcing,
but optimism seems to have advantages for those who possess it—and for those
around them! Like gratitude, optimism is valuable both to ourselves and to
others—as the old saying goes, “Laugh and the world laughs with you; Weep and
you weep alone.” People like to be around positive people, but not so much
around negative people.
So, where does optimism come from and how can we develop it
if we want to? Like so many things, research indicates that our genetics
predispose us to optimism or pessimism, and that our environment has the
potential to activate and accentuate that predisposition.
So your tendency depends on your genes and your upbringing.
You didn’t have control over those things, but there are strategies for
changing your perspective and becoming more optimistic if you want to:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Best Possible Self (BPS), mindfulness,
nurturing gratitude, and other strategies have been shown to foster optimism in
individuals. I’m sure you can find information on these and other strategies—my
message is that such strategies exist and can change your life.
There are so many stories I could share attesting to that, but I will share just one. I know of someone who has had cancer multiple times and has to have a scan every six months to check for recurrence. As the time for the next scan approaches, she consciously chooses to assume that the scan will be clear, knowing that otherwise she will be anxious and miserable in anticipation. So she is effectively buying time to live her best life by choosing optimism. We may not all be able to do that, but it’s worth trying!
https://kindlingwilliamclyde.blogspot.com
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